Happiness isn’t something that happens by chance on some days and not others. It’s a skill you can learn and cultivate, just like learning a new language. By incorporating techniques for happiness into your daily routine, you can build lasting joy and a more fulfilling life.
Understanding Your Emotional Landscape
Before we explore happiness-boosting practices, let’s understand our emotional landscape. Feelings are fleeting physiological responses. A sudden surge of adrenaline when startled is a feeling. Emotions, like happiness or anger, are more complex. They involve a combination of feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations. Emotions tend to last longer than feelings, but even they are impermanent.
The Power of 90 Seconds
Have you ever heard of the “90-second emotion rule”? This theory suggests that most emotions, if not acted upon, will dissipate within 90 seconds.
What does it mean “if not acted upon”? Well, it means that the specific brain chemistry that makes up that particular emotion is present in the brain for only about 90 seconds… UNLESS you do something to reactivate the production of those particular chemicals. Something like Rumination – constantly replaying a thought or action in your mind: Someone cuts you up in traffic. Naturally frustration arises. If you replay that scene in your mind, if you narrate it to yourself (or aloud), if you imagine yourself correcting the other driver, chasing them down, shouting, honking etc you are feeding the initial emotion, which would otherwise have naturally dissipated by now.
This knowledge empowers you to use techniques for happiness to influence your response to emotions. If an emotion is threatening to overstay its welcome in your day you can turn your attention to those things that might help sustain the emotion and either reduce them or deliberately take opposite action. By consciously directing your thoughts and actions during those 90 seconds, you can cultivate a more positive outlook.
The Chain…
Our emotions don’t exist in isolation. In addition to emotions being described as a more complex mix of feelings and thoughts, Frequent, persistent feelings can become emotions. Emotions that are allowed to persist can coalesce into moods, which are longer-lasting emotional states. Over time, dominant moods can shape our personality traits. These traits, in turn, contribute to our overall character, the core of who we are. Wouldn’t you like to be able to exercise control over that bigger picture? I think it is sad that there are so many people who don’t understand or simply dismiss the value of healthily regulating emotions at the small scale in return for big life-scale gains.
Start Simple, But be Strategic
The good news? You have the power to influence every link in this emotional chain. By consciously practising techniques for happiness, you can cultivate positive feelings, emotions, and moods that ultimately shape your personality and character. Here’s how:
Create Space for Happiness
I’m going to talk about some simple practical things that can start you off, but also be aware of something equally as important. It is not just about which of these activities you ADD to your day… After all, who has time to put more in, right? Take some time to honestly evaluate where you are, what you do, how you typically respond, what patterns exist in your life and what you want to be doing in response. Use this information to decide if there is anything you could reduce, do less of. Become a reductionist, create space for positive change in your life by cutting out things that don’t align with who and how you want to be. Contact me if you want help exploring this.
Harnessing the Power of Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful happiness amplifier. I’m not talking about anything religious here, although if that’s your thing then by all means use it to make this work for you. I’m simply referring to an acknowledgement; using your inner voice to say “I’m glad that happened” or “I’m glad I witnessed that” and “I’m glad I did that”. Taking time to appreciate the good things in your life, big or small, can shift your perspective and foster a sense of contentment.
It doesn’t matter how you do it, you could start a gratitude journal if you’re that way inclined. You could set aside a portion of time each day to think back over recent events and generate a mental list of things to feel grateful about. Or you could develop it as a response in the moment, such that you naturally recognise moments of gratitude throughout your day and express them outwardly as happiness. This kind of happiness runs deep.
Fueling Happiness with Healthy Habits
What you put into your body and mind significantly impacts your happiness. Prioritise adequate sleep, good hydration, a balanced diet that is right for you personally (don’t fall for fads), and regular exercise. These healthy habits contribute to a sense of well-being and create a foundation for happiness and a sure knowledge that you are a supporter of you! That’s a strong sensation to recognise and a solid base to build from.
Finding Your Flow
Being “in the flow” describes a state of complete absorption and enjoyment while engaged in an activity. It could be anything from painting to playing a sport. Engaging in activities that spark your passion and challenge you in a healthy way can significantly enhance your happiness. Helping creatives and performers find their flow is one of my favourite things to do as a therapist. Even if it’s not creativity related, if you want help finding and cultivating “flow”, “Zen”, being “in the zone” I can help you. Arrange a free 15 minute call to discuss possibilities.
Remember, happiness is a journey, not a destination.
As much as I personally dislike the cliche of “the J word” it’s a valid point here. Imagine you set out to be happy and just one time, you achieve it however briefly, now you’ve arrived. What next? But by mentally framing the practice of happiness as a journey and specifically, NOT a destination, we allow ourselves to continually apply ourselves to the application of happiness to our lives. By incorporating techniques for happiness into your life and seeking professional guidance when needed, you can cultivate greater joy and live a more fulfilling life.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Self-hypnosis offers a powerful tool for overcoming specific obstacles and amplifying your happiness. This article provides a starting point for your journey. If you’d like to delve deeper and explore how self-hypnosis can help you achieve your unique happiness goals, please get in touch. Arrange a free 15 minute call with me on zoom and we can discuss what’s best for you to take you forward on your “journey”. There’s no obligation to spend any money and I’m not in the guilt business either. Please, check out learning self hypnosis as an amazing life-enhancing ability across so many different areas of your life.
Please note: This article offers general information and should not be considered a substitute for professional guidance.
Photo credits
Smiley balloon: Photo by Jacob Vizek on Unsplash
Space for happiness: Photo by KAL VISUALS on Unsplash
Happiness this way: by D Jonez on Unsplash